But I don’t take pictures!

…but I will now! In efforts to get myself to document my 20′s more lively than just with inner dialogue — I’m going to attempt The May Photo A Day.
I know I’m starting a bit late. But here we are…

Lets get at it….

I brought this! A latte from a Coffee Shop (forgot the name) while I was in Chicago, Illinois last Spring. I’m not a coffee drinker, but my friend’s sister was adamant about trying something from this place. I don’t have taste buds for this stuff, so I can’t determine whether it was good or not. It wasn’t bad, though.

On another note, I really wanted to buy this:

Halllloooo

Hello. Does anyone read this anymore?

Obviously not because I don’t post at all!

Does anyone know how to not have spaces between these lines? I should know how to fix this — I’ve done a bit of website work. Maybe I’m lazy.

I’m lazy.

I still have heart palpitations. I was given beta blockers which make them less strong, but still present. Had a hormone test last week to see if my levels are okay — and if that may have anything else to do with it. They have ruled out most everything else.

How is everyone else doing? Is anyone here from around LA? I would like to meet some girlfriends!

 

 

 

 

 

^ me wanting to be your friend!

Right Now.

LOLZZZZ. So much for continuing my story TOMORROW. How about 3 months. Is that okay? Well, it’ll have to do.

I forgot where I left off and, more importantly, how I was planning to continue. So…I’m just going to start from where I am, right now.

Right now I am working at a temporary marketing job with a friend’s company that is supposed to last only until the end of this year.

Right now I don’t know what I’m going to do exactly (or in what field), when that ends.

Right now I’ve been sick. In a variety of ways. At the end of October I had an ear infection. It was bad enough for me to have to go to urgent care and get my ear flushed out. 3 days later I started having heart palpitations. They lasted continuously everyday for almost 2 wks. Now they are on and off. They were bad enough for me to go back to urgent care and have a Dr. tell me that, yes, my heart was skipping beats.

He also told me I don’t have insurance. As if me (and my credit card) didn’t know.

I went in later for blood tests and an EKG, and they found nothing directly related to my heart that could have been causing the problems – except slightly low B12/folic acid.

Bring on the liver (I guess), fish, eggs, and cereal.

Right now I am hoping I can regain my health through proper nutrients, resting, and taking care of myself more. I don’t have the money to take any more random cardiology tests.

Right now I’m realizing that my birthday is in 3 days.

Yes, 3 days.

Where did my life go?

Right now I am so anxious for my boyfriend to come home for the holidays. I only get to see him once a year, and even though I’ll be working everyday (except Christmas) – at least I’ll hopefully get to spend evenings with him.

Right now I am hoping I am going in the right direction.

Right now I just want to feel love, warmth, health, and security.

Right now I am going to relax.

The Wordless Year

I used to be a writer. I used to love to write. I’d write every day—in my head mostly, especially in college.  It was much easier than finding time to sit down peacefully with my thoughts and transcribe them onto paper, or a Microsoft document. No, it was much easier just to talk it out in my head.  It would never quiet down in there anyway, so, why not– right?

My life changed a lot last year when I graduated from college and moved home as everyone I knew and loved moved away to start their own lives elsewhere.

And there I was, standing in the middle of the street…with a balloon in my hand shivering in a white fluorescent tank top.  Okay, so it wasn’t that dramatic.  But it felt as such.

-

I questioned whether or not to bring this up. I feel like every time I write it’s to complain, wallow, or inform my computer and validate it by typing it out in text; and it’s usually something warring, unwanted, or unforgiving. I have a knack of not mentioning the good stuff.  Not that there’s been much of that lately.  (See, there I go again).

So, the deal is: I got (had—yep), a Part-Time job, that I feel like I solidified last May.  It wasn’t the most glamorous or earth shattering thing to mention – I was to nanny everyday / tutor a little girl (barely 2), while her mother was at work.  Should I mention that this was the only job I was able to come across with since I stopped my last one (After School teacher) last March? And, I was only being able to come by it through family friends too, even.

When I talked with the Mother and we solidified the position, I was so, so, SO, very relieved.  I had been looking tirelessly for a job, any job, for at least half a year now, and I could finally sit back and relax.  Who cares that Nannying was all my 5 years of studying at a UC could land me—I was going to get PAID!  Who cares how much.  PAID.  Paaaaaiddddddddddddd.

The excitement stemmed from the fact that I would finally be able to start saving to visit my boyfriend (who’s in Hawaii for Grad School—lucky duck), save to pay for my own insurance, be able to go on ice cream runs more frequently, and, most importantly, I could start saving for Nursing School – if I decided I wanted to go that route.
-

(20 minutes later)

I’m going to continue this story tomorrow. It’s getting late (2:30am—yes, I’m a night owl).  And, frankly, I forgot where I was in my dictation; as I was distracted by Instagram (don’t have one, but enjoy perusing others’).  Plus, I might as well learn what a CLIFFHANGER is, and this is a great start.

Oh, hi

I can’t believe I haven’t posted here for a year, a whole year.

It’s weird that I’ve gotten the urge to post again at around the same time. The time of the year when the weather gets hot, things slow down, people get back into the grooves of their lives or commitments — and I feel like I’m left here standing wondering where my own commitments, passions, and responsibilities lie.

Since the year has passed, some things have changed, yet some things are completely the same.  I still haven’t been able to land a full time job out of college (that is remotely related to my major).  I am still living at home after I moved back since graduation.  I still have the same boyfriend.  He is still in Hawaii for school.  And, yes, the distance still hurts the same.  The same, in the way that you never get used to being away from someone you care about for more than 6 months at a time.

Different, however, in the sense that the yearning is familiar, late night phone calls based on a 3hr time difference are welcome and the urge for the next 3yrs to pass quickly remains.

My family is still the same.  My parents are still getting older, as we all are.  My Dad seems more cynical and overbearing than ever — but maybe that’s how it’s always been and it’s only amplified now that I’m living at home.  My Mom is the same happy, positive, encouraging person that she always was.  And my younger brother is just as he’s alwayys been– flat, yet, consistent and unarming.

Interestingly enough, my health is better than it’s ever been.  And I wonder why.  Maybe because I have the time now to pay attention to it, or maybe because I’m getting older and the fear of not being physically ready for certain things in life is more prominent.

I wish I had some lovely pictures to provide you with, but text will have to do.  I’ll eventually have some, though — we have an iPad lying around, and I seem to be the only one interested in actually using it.

Have a lovely weekend

Lost, not the show.

So, college is over.
It’s a weird feeling. I graduated in June.
Weird because for those 5years I had everything planned out. I knew what I liked to do (journalism), and I did it.
Now, here I am. In the real-world, or so they call it. And I feel lost. Lost because I can’t find a job (or nail an interview at least), and lost because I don’t know if my BA is sufficient enough for me to find a job that I’ll be okay with. I mean, where are all the entry level jobs for college grads? Everything I find writing-related requires at least 3-5yrs of experience. Not to mention I can’t even get hired as an intern. So, where does that experience come from?

Yes, you can tell I’m lost.
I’ve never even seen the show.
I’m wondering if my University level education and years of hard work and money was worth it. Maybe I should have just gotten an RN certificate or something — at least it looks like it would be easier to find a job that way.
I would go back to school, but the reality is — I don’t have the money too, I feel mentally and physically burnt out from the last 5yrs, and I honestly just want a damn job– so that I can get experience and start making and saving up money.
At this point I really don’t care what kind of job it is. I even applied to fast-food places (which, by the way, I have yet to hear back from).

This isn’t a foodie post, or a foodie blog…these are just thoughts.
And this is what this blog might be for awhile until I don’t feel so LOST anymore.

While you’re here

Check out my Droku article on Lynn Chen from 

The Actor’s Diet

Click on the link below, and I would love it if you commented

Floey’s droku article